![]() ![]() “That worrying about being liked - just keep in mind, the other person has that same anxiety. People are so interesting if you give them a chance,” Murphy said. “I find that really dissolves once you get involved in somebody else’s story. ![]() Let worry and anxiety fall awayĪll of us want to be accepted, so people may be distracted by thoughts like: Does this person like me? How is this going? What am I going to say next? How can I impress this person? It’s just like meditation, but instead of focusing on your breath or a mantra, you gently return your focus to the speaker. Murphy advised acknowledging those distractions, then returning to focus. Our brains can think much faster than someone can talk, so it’s very common to start thinking about other things - work worries, errands, vacation plans - during a conversation. “You’re no longer in your head, you’re really into their story and you’re moving along with each other.” 6. “You listen for the rhythm and it’s almost like you’re both dancers,” Murphy said. Ask expansive questionsĪvoid typical inquiries like: What do you do for a living? Where do you live? Where did you go to school? They reduce the conversation to a rehearsed resume recitation or elevator pitch. If you show you’re genuinely interested, the other person is going to open up. If you notice someone wearing an interesting piece of jewelry, ask where it came from, for example. Everyone is interesting if you ask the right questions, Murphy said. Think of yourself as a detective in the conversation. It’s fine to share some of your experiences, but beware of making it all about yourself. When you leave, Murphy advised asking yourself: What did I learn about that person? How did that person feel about what we were talking about? Resist shifting the chat back to yourself and instead encourage the other person to elaborate. The goal in every conversation is to find out more about the other person. “If you haven’t been listening well, you’re not going to respond in a way that really resonates with the other person.” 2. ![]() “People are so worried about what they’re going to say and as a result, they miss a lot of what the other person is saying,” she noted. Once you understand that listening can be more valuable than speaking, you’ll be more in the moment, Murphy said. Listening is how you learn about and connect with someone. Realize listening is the more powerful position So how can you harness the power of a good listener? Murphy offered these tips to sharpen anyone’s listening skills: 1. Anyone who has ever been surrounded by people staring at their phones can relate. Murphy was also struck that many people reported feeling lonely in the presence of others. “The thing that was so touching is afterwards they would always say - and these are very accomplished people with vast networks of colleagues and family - ‘Oh, thank you so much for listening’ and ‘I can’t believe I told you that.’ And also, ‘I’m so sorry’ - as if they had done something wrong, as if they had taken so much from me, as if listening was too much to ask.” “As a result, people often told me these incredibly personal things, as if they’d been waiting a long time for a listener to tell,” Murphy told TODAY. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |